I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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