do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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