We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
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We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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