Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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