Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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