People in love make me want to vomit
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
50% drunk capacity currently
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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