arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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