no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize