Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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