I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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