Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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