Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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