I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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