I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I smell like Dick and happiness
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize