Do you still have your period?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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