so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
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Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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