We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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