Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize