still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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