i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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