We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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