i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
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