so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize