After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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