well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize