I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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