You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize