making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize