I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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