But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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