that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i believe in u and ur pee
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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