well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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