on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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