So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They took my balls.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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