I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize