One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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