The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize