Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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