his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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