so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize