FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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