i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
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I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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