she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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