what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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