Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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