Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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