You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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