Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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