i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize