just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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